Self-Esteem - The most important life-skill a child can have!

Self-Esteem – The most important life-skill a child can have

4 February 2019

By: Vidhya Shailesh, SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org

Imagine if your child could be confident!

Imagine if your child could be happy given any situation!

Imagine if your child could have the ability to handle anything life sends their way!

SoulKids® helps them with this and more. And it all starts with high self-esteem. Self-Esteem is a sense of belief in one’s own ability, capacity and capability and it is a nurtured skill.

A child with high self-esteem appears more confident, happy and self-assured. They are not afraid to make mistakes and even try new things. They are more open to new ideas and willing to learn. They know and believe that if they put their mind to it, they can achieve anything. Children with high-self-esteem are happy children. They know their strengths and learn to work on them. They have an “I can do it!” attitude.

There are many ways this can be nurtured in a child. Some of the ways are listed below.

1. Foster a positive environment of love at home. Children who are loved, have a feeling of belonging and this greatly helps with their own self-belief. Tell them often that you love them and appreciate them.

2. The rigors of parenthood, school and life can often take a toll on everyone in the family. Ensure you set aside plenty of quality time to spend with your children. Let this time be all about them and what they are doing. Encourage them to share their experiences, their ideas and their thoughts and feelings. Involve them in household chores and help them feel valued and important.

3. Encourage them to be open-minded and try new things. Help them identify things they are good at and praise them for it. Appreciate their efforts rather than the results. And help them see their own progress. Teach them that failure is a part of learning.

4. Encourage them to form many friendships. Growing up years can bring up a bag of emotions for children – so make sure you are always there to hear them out and support and guide them, should they ask for help.

5. Keep negative talk out as much as you can. Comments like, “you are so slow…”, “you are no good” slowly and steadily damage their own self-esteem. Rather be positive in your feedback, for example, “Shall we try getting this task done in 20minutes?” or “That was much better than the last time.”

6. Avoid comparing them with their peers, siblings or friends. Each child has their own strengths and capabilities and as a parent you must help them find theirs. Comparisons only make them feel worse about themselves.

7. Model the behavior you want your children to emulate. But know that they also sometimes need to learn things for themselves. Make sure you are supportive and always there for them. Let them watch you fall and pick yourself up. When they see you do it, it becomes easier for them to try it too.

8. Avoid setting a high standard for them to live up to. Encourage them to constantly work towards excellence but keep your expectations out of it. For a child already working/trying hard, the burden of expectations is just too much to bear.

Parenting is a learning process too. Invest in your own learning and keep growing. With the right supportive environment around them, children will thrive in any giving situation and their self-esteem will grow.

At SoulKids®, our training is geared towards raising a child’s sense of self-esteem, to see their natural strengths, talents and abilities and to strengthen their sense of self-belief. Through fun games and stories, children grow in confidence and step into the world as happy and confident individuals. They learn to appreciate differences amongst each other and become more comfortable being themselves. They learn to believe in themselves and be the best they can be.

To find out more about our programs, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. We offer group programs for different age groups and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance.

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

Digital Addiction – How to help my teenager

ByVidhya Shailesh
SoulKids® Program Manager, www.soulkids.org
2nd July 2018

The world we live in right now is massively different from the one we used to live in as children. Among the many changes, the digital revolution has been one that has changed our lives in many ways. Mobiles, tablets, laptops are no longer a luxury any more – they are a way of life.

While technology has its advantages, it is essential that we remain mindful of the ill effects of the same. With laptops and mobile phones becoming a necessary part of every child’s growing years and part of their learning in school, it is all the more necessary that we inculcate the right habits from the start among children.

We cannot live in our own little bubble and avoid technology completely. Instead we must learn to embrace it with the right habits. Here are a few ways we can do the same.

1. Accept don't resist
Once we have given our children access to mobiles or laptops, there is no point resisting it and fighting over why they spend so much time on it. If in your teenage years you spent hours speaking to your friends on the phone, today the children do it on WhatsApp or snapchat. It is a part of their growing up years and constantly blaming them for it only creates a very negative environment. Instead encourage open communication. Discuss what they watch / do on their computers openly. Perhaps watch some of the shows with them. This helps foster a sense of openness and helps them be honest with you. Confrontation will only make them lie.

2. Encourage them to segregate screen time
Children need to be guided to understand how hours can be spent on your digital equipment. What might start as a simple google search might end up in hours of aimless reading. Help them understand this. Encourage them to set aside specific times for the tasks that they are doing. For example, if it is a school evening, encourage them to leave their phones on silent while they do their work. There are apps like focus available for computers as well which can help you block out any form of distractions for specific periods of time. This helps them focus on getting their work done. And once the work is complete, they can catch up on any messages on their phones. Cultivate a sense of responsibility for their own school work.

3. Encourage healthy habits like taking frequent breaks from their computers. Encourage them to put their digital devices away while they are in the company of people. Perhaps family time is a good way to start. Encourage them to set aside their devices during family time and make sure you do the same. Let this time be one where everyone engages in conversation perhaps over a meal or while doing an activity together.

4. Encourage them to spend lots of time in the outdoors. Perhaps playing their favorite sport or going for a run or a walk or biking. This is a great way to beat stress during exams, to help clear your mind and energize the body.

5. Encourage them to develop a love for reading. 
Make it a habit to help them pick out a few books to read during their holidays. Frequent trips to the library can ensure they have enough to read in their spare time. This will also ensure they don’t just sit with their phones the entire time. Encourage them to keep a wish list of books that they would like to read. And every time there is a holiday, help them source the books so they can keep themselves engaged.

While the distractions that digital devices provide are plenty, they must understand that there is a lot more they can do without it too. Lead them by example, let them see you put away your devices for specific periods of time. Some of these habits when inculcated early can help your teenagers develop the right approach towards digital distractions.

Life-skills education can go a long way in encouraging the right mindset towards life and the many distractions in it including digital distractions. At SoulKids® we teach children essential life-skills that help them create their own happiness and success.

To find out more about our programs for children, please visit www.soulkids.org or email us at soulkids@soulcentre.org for more information. We offer group programs for different age groups and even offer one-on-one coaching if your child requires specific help and guidance.

Why I Love SoulKids

By Ikabella Heaps
SoulKids Ambassador, www.soulkids.org

18th June 2018

Hello! My name is Ikabella and I’m 14 years old. I am a proud SoulKids ambassador! 

Today, I would like to share with you my experience in SoulKids and how it has impacted my life as a teenager. I believe the learnings we have as teens have the most everlasting impact on our lives and it’s important that we equip ourselves with a proper mindset along with life skills. 

I first started SoulKids when I was about 9 or 10 years old, my mother was keen on signing me up at the SoulKid’s self-confidence workshop because she thought that it would be very beneficial for me in the long run. She was definitely right as the fun and engaging lessons have definitely taught me something special. 

SoulKids is not like any other program that you will attend, it is a fun and meaningful experience that will last you for a very long time! One of the reasons why I really love SoulKids is that the lessons are very engaging and impactful! They are conducted in a way where the children are able to participate and engage actively in the session which really give a memorable experience. As children, we do not really think much of it, but when we look back and reflect, a bigger conclusion can be drawn from the experiences. SoulKids has definitely been able to help me achieve this outcome!  And so, I will share with you next on how it has impacted me.

Being a teen, it’s sometimes difficult to cope with the ever changing expectations society has of us. The media in this case has a very big role to play in this setting, an example is the unrealistic portrayal on how people should look like. This, in my belief, has a massive impact on teens like myself. Teens go to different extents to try to achieve this “amazing goal” as the media says. These heights that teens sometimes go to is often detrimental to - both mental and physical health, we start to lose ourselves and dislike ourselves for who we are. 

However in SoulKids one very important lesson I’ve learnt is the true value of oneself, it is not determined by one’s looks or how others view them, but what is truly on the inside. Pushing yourself to be someone that you know is not you does not prove your self worth or being. I believe that knowing our personal value will help us to be able to accept and love ourselves for who we are, not being told by the media that this is how you should look so on and so forth. SoulKids has really helped me put  this mindset in to action and apply in my daily life! 

I would like to end off my sharing by saying I am very grateful that I have been given this opportunity to share my thoughts and experiences with all of you! Hopefully this compels you to try out a SoulKids workshop and see the change from within!

Thank you again for the amazing opportunities you have given to me! 

Regards, 
Ikabella

SoulKids is an award-winning training program of essential life-skills for children.

Read more about SoulKids here www.soulkids.org

The next SoulKids Self-Confidence program is coming up on 6 / 7  / 8  August. An ideal moment for your child to grow self-confidence and have fun during the school holidays at the same time.

For registration, click here.

For all upcoming SoulKids events click http://www.soulkids.org/events

One on One coaching sessions can be booked at your convenience by contacting the SoulKids Manager, Vidhya on soulkids@soulcentre.org. 

Life Coaching - How does it help me?

Do you ever feel as if life is simply passing you by and you are not really living the life you dreamed of?

This happens to all of us at some point in time and often it is because we have stopped really focussing on what we want to get out of life. Instead we start to please others and do what is expected of us, fulfilling the multiple roles that we have taken on and end up like a hamster running round and round on a wheel without much thought to where or what we are doing.

So at this moment, as you are reading this blog, I want you to STOP and ask yourself this one question.

What do I want from my life?

Yes YOU – the person reading this

What do YOU want for YOUR life?

For one moment forget your roles, forget your kids, your job, your partner, your dog, your shopping list, your facebook account, your need to be busy… and simply think about YOU!

If you need some help with this question, then give us a call and book a one-on-one life coaching session.

So what is a Life Coach and what will a Life Coach support and guide you on?

• A life coach is someone who will ask you questions that really make you think.
• A life coach is someone you can trust.
• A life coach is someone who will push you just a bit further than you could ever imagine is possible.
• A life coach will listen to you fully and without interrupting you.
• A life coach is someone who will hold up a mirror and help you see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying.
• A life coach will not judge you.
• A life coach is someone who will see your strengths and start to build on these.
• A life coach will also support you on any weaker areas, however this will not be their focus – after all your strengths are what will take you higher.
• A life coach will help you see the patterns of your life and will give you action points to change.
• A life coach will bring change to your life for the better.

Change is EASY – it begins with one thought, followed by ACTION.

So what are you waiting for?

A fun life awaits you - maximise your potential.

How to be truly happy - 5 Essential Secrets

Do you ever feel caught up in all the mundane things of life while happiness seems to elude you? Do you feel like life is just passing you by? Do you sometimes feel that you are doing so much but that you are not truly happy?

Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are right. So if we are waiting for something is our world to be just right before we become happy, then we are keeping ourselves in an endless cycle of waiting!

Everywhere around, people are trying desperately to find their happiness in relationships, in expensive cars, mansions, overseas holidays, money, the perfect place or the perfect job – and yet after they have experienced some or all of the above, they are still not happy.

Happiness is the special sauce that makes everything else in life worthwhile. And if happiness is missing, then even a life full of wealth and health is not meaningful.

"If a person is happy, life is worthwhile" - Vikas

So how can one become truly happy?

What are the essentials to happiness?

Let me guide you to the 5 essential secrets that will create real happiness for you.

SECRET NO: 1 – START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have so much to be grateful for; it’s just that most times, we don’t realize it.

Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mindset, which will help you to accept yourself for who you really are. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

Start your day with a positive attitude and a positive mind-set. Spend 3 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life.

Start your day on a positive note, because a spiritual law is that whatever is inside you is what comes out of you. So if you create happiness inside by being grateful, you will ooze happiness all day, which in turn will make your day a happy one!

SECRET NO: 2 – DURING THE DAY, STRENGHTEN YOUR POSITIVE MUSCLES

As your day begins to unfold, many types of things, results and people will be encountered.

No matter what comes your way, choosing to be positive will help you to stay strong within the challenge and handle it in a peaceful and powerful manner. Even when things are difficult, try being positive and strive to make the best of whatever situation you’re in. It will help make even the most challenging situations easier to bear.

So as you live your life during the day, look for the positive not for the negative.

Often, during the day, repeat positive affirmations about what you want. Do so with faith, feelings, intention and focus. Your mind is the filter for this world around you, so look for the good in every situation, and you are sure to see it.

“Don’t gain all the wealth and lose your soul” - Vikas

SECRET NO: 3 – JUST FOR TODAY, ACCEPT IMPERFECTION

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. When we stop worrying about our imperfections and what others think about us, and just start being what we are, then we can truly offer the world the best we have. For as long as we are living a life of pretense, we are sure to be tense, and real happiness will elude us.

Moreover, you can’t expect people to be perfect all the time. Perfection comes when you’re ok with imperfection.

Our ideas about the way the world works are based, in part, upon our expectations. Those expectations color our experience, good or bad and influence our reactions and responses to just about everything and everyone that we encounter.

Expectations help us form a world view, but they can also skew that world view in unexpected and sometimes unwanted ways. The more the expectations, the more the disappointment.

Being a perfectionist will not make you happy, I promise. So ease up a little bit, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy life.

You will be happily surprised.

SECRET NO: 4 - TRAVEL LIGHT

Keep your mind light. Carry the good experiences with you, and the lessons from the bad experiences. Both will help you and make you a better person. But carrying negative memories will only take your happiness away.

The best short-cut to happiness is meditation, which teaches you to train your mind to be calm and happy. Never put the key of your happiness in anyone else’s hands.

“Life is not a race, don’t make it so” - Vikas

SECRET NO: 5 – HUG TODAY. IT WON’T COME BACK.

So many people keep themselves constantly busy, but spend their whole life waiting to start living. And in the meantime, this beautiful gift from life called ‘today ‘is passing by forever!

Give your attention to the value of today. This day is your life, and you are alive only today! So value it, cherish it and live it fully while it is here. Because it’s soon going to be gone forever.

Take action in your life on the problems you face, if any. Any action is better than burying your head in the sand, hiding from the world, and more importantly yourself. But at the same time, don’t let your pains and problems define your experience; you also have a lot of blessings in your life, so let that be the flavor of the day!

"Create happiness, don’t wait for it!" – Vikas

Quit waiting for life to work out. Make a change and take control. You control your own happiness; don’t waste any more time waiting for it to come find you.

So embrace and HUG your life today. Bring some happiness, understanding and gratitude to your life today!

“H – Happiness; U – Understanding; G – Gratitude” - Vikas

There is always a lot in life to be happy and grateful for. Start living in the only moment that matters, right now. The more you are focused on the past or the future, the more you are missing out on happiness right now.

Pay attention to this day and make yourself truly happy, no matter what!

How to Meditate – A simple meditation technique for beginners

Many people believe that Mediation is "difficult" and have preconceived ideas about what you have to do in order to meditate.

Allow me to clear your mind and to dispel some of these myths and in doing so encourage you to meditate.

The myths are as follows:

1) Meditation is religious - This is simply not correct. Meditation predates religions and is simply a practice that brings stillness and peace to the mind. Hence all religions use it in their teachings.

2) You have to sit cross– legged to meditate - Again this is not correct. As meditation is ancient, often there were no chairs around in the good old days and so people sat on the ground and “naturally” sat cross-legged. In today’s modern world you can meditate sitting down, lying down, on a plane, walking, at your desk …you name it – you can meditate doing it.

3) It’s so hard to meditate - Again this is not correct. We learnt to walk, talk, eat, dress ourselves, drive a car…so why so we think its hard to meditate? What if I told you it was easy peasy?

4) I do not have time to meditate - If you cannot find 5 minutes in your day to meditate - then you REALLY do need to meditate! Make it a routine like brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, reading the paper. Spend less time checking Facebook and more time meditating – your life will thank-you big time.

Now for a simple technique that everyone can do – especially beginners; it's called "Anapana Sati" or meditation on the breath.

It's best to do it alone and in a space that is less chaotic than a busy office/home environment to start with. So plan 10 minutes when you can be alone and have some "me" time.

The technique is easy, try it and feel the difference:

• Sit comfortably / lie down (but do not fall asleep).• Close your eyes.• Fix your attention at the tip of your nose.• Now simply feel your body as you breathe in and breathe out.• Do a few breaths with awareness and see how you feel.• Once you master this and you want to advance, you can introduce a count of 4-2-6.• Count 4 as you breathe in – then hold for 2 – and breathe out for 6.• Repeat this for at least 5-10 minutes and your whole energy will be calmer.

Your mind and body will benefit as a result and suddenly the world will become a calmer and happier place.

Join SoulCentre and it's team of expert meditators to take your practice to deeper levels. You will love the new you!

Meditation is an “essential life-skill” for Children

Rashmi, one of SoulCentre’s Meditation Teachers, was recently interviewed and asked a question about meditation for children at SoulCentre. We would like to share her thoughts with you.

"Children are our future leaders. We send our children to schools for academia, to learn sports, languages, essentially with the idea for them to excel in the world.

With stress levels going up in academic performance, an increase in instances of children being bullied and peer pressure, it is even more critical in today’s world for the children to understand the power of thoughts.

Meditation is an essential life-skill as it teaches the science behind the ancient wisdom and gives the tools to empower oneself from within.

We are so focused on the outer world that we forget the need to master the inner world. 

Mediation helps build focus and enables the child to see and direct their own thoughts. 

Once the children are equipped with the skill of Meditation, they become calmer and happier.

Children are then capable of designing their own blue prints and to go out and lead the world.”

Thanks Rashmi, there truly is no greater gift for a child than being able to manage their thoughts and emotions and thus lead a happy and successful life.

For more details on meditation for children, do connect :

info@soulcentre.org

www.soulcentre.org