How to manage stress in children

How to manage stress in children

By Vikas Malkani
Founder of SoulKids®, www.soulkids.org13th August 2018

The task of raising children and making them future ready, brings many challenges. From academic stress, to teenage issues; from low self-esteem to intense peer pressure, children face it all in their years of learning and growing.

And parents feel the stress too. Parenting is one the most challenging jobs there is. It tests our patience, positivity and persistence. It can bring out our inner potential, or it can kill it completely.

The word 'stress' originates from the French word 'estrece' meaning 'narrowness' and depicts a limiting or constriction of our power and abilities.

We have the feeling of being stressed out when we think we have too much to handle either on a mental, emotional or physical level. Stress also occurs when we view change and pressure as burdens rather than as challenges.

Interestingly, what makes a person stress-full may be quite an ordinary event for another person. The secret to releasing stress is to realize that stress is created not by the event or circumstance itself, but by the way we respond to what happens to us.

Decide today to live a life that’s free of stress. The first step to this is learning how to manage stress when it crops up. It's never too late to make your children and the job of parenting, stress-free and joyful. Remember - Life is too short to postpone happiness until the conditions are just perfect.

Here are 3 stress management tips that lead to greater happiness for you and your children.

TIP 1 - START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

All of us have a lot to be grateful for, but most times, we don’t realize it. Children take for granted whatever their parents provide for them.

Train your children to start every day with 5 minutes of focusing on gratitude. Gratitude helps to cultivate a positive mind-set. Remember, as your day begins, you don’t know what the day will bring to you, but you can decide what you will bring to this day! So, choose to bring a grateful and happy ‘you’ to your day and see the benefits happen.

If you constantly think about what is wrong or what you lack, you will be more stressed out. Instead, spend 5 minutes before you get active in the morning reminding yourself what is great in your life. You can do this exercise together with your children at the start of the day.

TIP 2 – MEDITATE

In every situation, you always have two choices - either curse the darkness, or light a candle.  Meditation helps you to train your mind to choose the more positive attitude.

Simply put, stress is the result of the way you think. And if you develop the ability to change the way you think, you will have in your hands the power to manage stress regardless of what the causes may be.

Stress arises out of the way you think, and since meditation is the skill of training your mind, and becoming aware of your thoughts, meditation is also one of the most effective antidotes to stress. Negative thinking produces stress and thinking positively releases it, it’s that simple in most cases. 

Invest in meditation. Find an authentic and reputable teacher and make sure you and your children learn the skills of meditation. Training your mind through the ancient science of meditation shows you the way to create your own happiness and joy.

So, find a good teacher and learn the skills of meditation and mindfulness. Countless studies have shown that meditation and mindfulness help you to manage stress better.

TIP 3 – PERFECTION DOESN’T HAPPEN

It’s a fact that we all have imperfections. This includes your children too; remember that they are not perfect and are not meant to be, they are wonderful and unique just the way they are and your job as a parent is not to make them different, but rather to make them the best version of who they authentically are.

Expecting your children to be perfect will create more stress, I promise. So ease up a little, check the expectations you carry and lower them if necessary, and see how much more you can enjoy parenting and your life. You will be happily surprised.  

Trying to control every moment and outcome of your life will always cause more stress for you. Instead, release a bit of control, take the action the present moment requires, and then, stop clinging to the results.

There are also important lessons adults can learn from children about managing stress. Here is one - HAVE FUN. Being around children has taught me the simple power of pursuing fun -- again and again. A simple game like hide and seek can keep a child happy and occupied for hours. The price of the game: nothing. The fun: priceless.

But fun doesn't just happen. You have to make it a priority in your life or it won’t happen. Life's too short to not have it. In my perspective, life is what you make it to be, nothing more, nothing less.

So HAVE FUN with your children and make your family happier and stress free!

If you wish to become a stress-free parent, I highly recommend our ‘Meditation Made Simple’ program as the perfect first step. 

Click here to see dates and register http://www.soulcentre.org/events

Vikas Malkani is an authority and one of the world’s leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness. He has taught the secrets of meditation to CEO’s, Hollywood Stars, Royalty, Entrepreneurs, Doctors, Psychologists and Sports Champions.

SoulCentre is Asia’s Premier Centre for Meditation, Mindfulness & Stress-Management. www.soulcentre.org

SoulKids is an award-winning life skills program that makes children future-ready by teaching them leadership, resilience, emotional intelligence, teamwork and more.

Find out more about SoulKids programs and one-on-one coaching here www.soulkids.org or email us at info@soulcentre.org

An interview with leading meditation teacher Vikas Malkani

Vikas was recently interviewed for a magazine. He explained what meditation is and shared a few simple, yet profound meditation techniques as well! We are happy to share this article with you. Enjoy the read!

The Chinese New Year is around the corner. How do I prep myself for a good year ahead?

If you want to have a good year ahead with positive results, the most important element to get right is your mind-set. You start each day with your own thoughts, and end everyday with your own thoughts too. The thoughts you have create the emotional states you experience which then drive your actions and behaviours. The results you get in life are due to the actions you take. Thus it’s clear that your mind-set is the start of the results you achieve in your life.

It is no surprise that meditation is used by professionals in many fields to assure optimum performance. Hollywood Stars, Professional Athletes, Business Leaders, Investment Legends, Entrepreneurs and A-listers such as Oprah Winfrey, Ray Dalio, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Gordon Summers (Sting), Cameron Diaz, Paul McCartney, Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad Poor Dad), Eckhart Tolle, Anthony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer, are all people who meditate.

In my recent meeting with Hollywood Stars John Travolta and Mark Wahlberg, I was happy to hear that both of them give a high priority to wisdom and meditate on a daily basis.

The lesson is clear - Create a positive mind-set, and you have primed yourself to have a great year ahead.

What is mindfulness and meditation? How do I practise it? Are they the same?

Meditation is an ancient science of understanding our mind and training it to be our friend, not our enemy. Doing this is necessary if we value our happiness, peace, clarity, compassion and the many other positive emotional states of life, because our thoughts create our emotional states. We can choose our own emotions only if we can choose our own thoughts and that’s what meditation trains us to do.

You can also think of meditation as a way of training the mind, just as you would use various exercises to train the body.

Mindfulness is just a subset of the science of meditation. It started in the US about 50 years ago, and includes a few of the techniques that are taught in meditation and also some of its wisdom concepts.

How do I incorporate mindfulness and meditation into my daily life?

It’s necessary to start your meditation training with the right understanding. Think of meditation as getting more mentally fit and in balance; more in control of your emotions and personal peace.

Here are 2 easy ways to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into your daily life.

Beginners Meditation 1

One of the easiest ways to begin meditating is by focusing on the breath, which is a great way to improve focus and concentration. By focusing on a single thing, like the action of following the breath, repeating a single word (mantra) or staring at a specific object (a painting, a tree or a candle flame), a beginner can start to meditate.
Focus your attention on the chosen object, and each time you notice your mind wandering off, simply bring your attention back to the object of your focus. Start with only a few minutes at a time and slowly increase the duration.

Beginners Meditation 2

Another easy way for beginners is by practicing Mindfulness Meditation, which involves observing your thoughts with attention but without judgement or engagement. The intention is not to get involved with the thoughts that crop by in your mind, or to judge them, but simply to be aware of each thought as it arises. You may begin to realise you have a tendency to quickly judge an experience, thought, or person as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant. You may also notice that your thoughts and feelings move in particular patterns. With practice, an inner stillness and balance begins to develop, and the mind quietens down from its erratic, active and agitated way of being.

There are many other techniques of meditation, but the 2 that I have described above are sufficient to get you started.

I also highly recommend you to find a good teacher, someone you resonate with and who can explain the intricacies of meditation to you in a logical and scientific manner.

Learn from such a teacher and you will soon begin to experience the powerful and positive effects meditation can have in your life.

What sort of good practices would you recommend for my daily life?

A few simple habits will also support your happiness, peace of mind, focus and mental clarity:

1) Limit your time on social media, and checking into other people’s lives
2) Set yourself 5 important things to accomplish, at the start of the day
3) Set aside enough time for those important to you (partner, kids, family etc.)
4) Spend some time daily reading inspirational material; it is nourishment to your soul
5) Take time out to meditate everyday (or a few times a day). 5 minutes at a time, 3 times a day is ideal to start with.
6) Don’t hang out with negative people, they are toxic to your happiness and success
7) Eat food that is nourishing and healthy

Any other tips or advise to share?

Come to SoulCentre (www.soulcentre.org) and let me teach you the secrets of meditation. It’s the fastest and most efficient way to maximize your happiness and success!

Vikas Malkani has been called the World’s #1 Wisdom Coach. He is an authority and best-selling author on wisdom to create a life of happiness, success, significance and legacy. He is also one of the world’s leading teachers of meditation and mindfulness.

Attend ‘Meditation Made Simple’ with Vikas and empower yourself to create a life of happiness, peace and fulfilment. Click here to register on Meditation Made Simple
http://www.soulcentre.org/events

Life Coaching - How does it help me?

Do you ever feel as if life is simply passing you by and you are not really living the life you dreamed of?

This happens to all of us at some point in time and often it is because we have stopped really focussing on what we want to get out of life. Instead we start to please others and do what is expected of us, fulfilling the multiple roles that we have taken on and end up like a hamster running round and round on a wheel without much thought to where or what we are doing.

So at this moment, as you are reading this blog, I want you to STOP and ask yourself this one question.

What do I want from my life?

Yes YOU – the person reading this

What do YOU want for YOUR life?

For one moment forget your roles, forget your kids, your job, your partner, your dog, your shopping list, your facebook account, your need to be busy… and simply think about YOU!

If you need some help with this question, then give us a call and book a one-on-one life coaching session.

So what is a Life Coach and what will a Life Coach support and guide you on?

• A life coach is someone who will ask you questions that really make you think.
• A life coach is someone you can trust.
• A life coach is someone who will push you just a bit further than you could ever imagine is possible.
• A life coach will listen to you fully and without interrupting you.
• A life coach is someone who will hold up a mirror and help you see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying.
• A life coach will not judge you.
• A life coach is someone who will see your strengths and start to build on these.
• A life coach will also support you on any weaker areas, however this will not be their focus – after all your strengths are what will take you higher.
• A life coach will help you see the patterns of your life and will give you action points to change.
• A life coach will bring change to your life for the better.

Change is EASY – it begins with one thought, followed by ACTION.

So what are you waiting for?

A fun life awaits you - maximise your potential.

Welcome Esther…

Esther Claassen recently qualified as a BEST Technique™ Life Coach at SoulCentre. She is very capable and I’m certain will bring the best guidance and support to her future clients.

Esther says “I have a strong background in people management and a natural connection with people.  My passion in life is to support others and facilitate their personal growth in life.

I recently completed my SoulCentre life coach qualifications and I am excited to combine my new and existing skills to inspire you to be the best you can be.

In a trustworthy and authentic atmosphere, we will work together on how to integrate your inner self with the outer world, and how to live your happiest life.

I combine simple tools and effective techniques. Together we will explore life and learn if/where changes are needed to be made in order to re-discover balance and happiness.

Sometimes just one or two sessions of sharing and reflection can be enough to take ownership of your life again.

I am here to help you and my sessions can be conducted in both English and Dutch.

You can connect with me on 93880535 or estherinspore@hotmail.com”

We are happy to have you with us Esther. All the best to you, and I’m sure you will enlighten many minds.

Vikas